A Budding Story...

Ironically just a couple days after my last post where I was exploring the importance of standing up for truth, I was faced with a rare opportunity to actually do it. The company I work for, Arapahoe House, is the largest provider of substance abuse services in Colorado, and is occasionally asked to make comments about various substance issues in the community. Due to the recent passage of Amendment 64, which legalized marijuana for recreational use in Colorado, 7NEWS requested an interview from the head of Arapahoe House. In addition, they asked Arapahoe House if they could interview either an employee or client that has struggled with marijuana addiction. When I got to work Tuesday night there was an e-mail that had gone out to all employees from our public affairs rep, asking if anyone was willing to do the interview. On a whim, I decided to respond and offer up myself, just in case they hadn't found anyone. I have to say that I honestly didn't expect to hear from anyone, but early the next morning I got a call from our public affairs rep asking if I was still willing to do the interview because they really needed someone. I agreed to it and hung up. My first thought was, "Oh crap! What have I just gotten myself into?" I hadn't even run it by Charlie yet, and here I was agreeing to go on a major television network and tell everyone that I used to be addicted to marijuana! This is something I don't advertise to the world, and something I had never even told my children. Was I really ready to go public with one of my greatest regrets in life? Was I ready to have this conversation with my children? As I wrestled with these doubts I was suddenly filled with peace, and the things I wrote in my previous post came to my mind. I have a responsibility to stand up for truth!

When the results of the election came in, and I realized that Colorado had just legalized marijuana, I really did cry. Not only did I become addicted to marijuana myself when I was a teenager, which nearly destroyed my life, but I also go to the trenches of this war every night when I go to work. In my work with addicts I have seen life after life devastated by addiction. I've seen mothers lose their children, marriages torn apart, children dropping out of school, and even people losing their lives to this awful plague. Fighting this battle isn't easy, and the passage of Amendment 64 felt like a huge loss. My heart was broken with disappointment and discouragement, and I wept. How could so many people actually think this would be good for our beautiful state?  Mostly I was disappointed in myself and wondered if I had done enough to try and stop this amendment from passing. Or did I sit on the sidelines and allow evil to go unchallenged in this fight? In many ways I did, and for that I am ashamed and sorry. But then Wednesday morning I was offered a small chance to get off the sidelines and join the fight. Now is not the time to give up, it's the time to double down.

So I sent a text to Charlie that started like this, "I just agreed to do something I probably should have run by you first..."  His simple and infinitely supportive response was, "If you feel ok with it I trust you." Yes I married the most wonderful man ever!  Later in the day I had the conversation with my children, and while it was somewhat difficult, it also opened up the door for us to talk openly about drugs and other topics.  Justin even asked, "Mom, how did you quit using drugs?" In answer I was able to tell him how I went to my bishop and turned to the Lord.  It was a great conversation to have with them.  And as I was walking out the door to go to the interview, each of my children gave me a hug and told me to be brave.  What wonderful children I have! 

The interview took an hour, about 10 minutes of which was me talking to the reporter.  All of that ultimately boiled down to a 2 minute spot on the 10 o'clock news with a few sound bites.  The reporter was especially kind and supportive, and really seemed to care about getting our side of the story out to the public.  Admittedly, this story was short and incomplete, but I guess there's only so much you can get out in 2 minutes.  It probably won't have a significant impact overall, but maybe there were a few people who saw it that will now want to learn a little more.  A wave always starts with a ripple. 

In the end, I know that I made the right decision.  I believe this opportunity was given to me through divine intervention, and the Spirit was with me as I spoke to the reporter. Maybe it won't make a huge difference in this giant battle, but it did make a difference in my little part of the world.  Most importantly I was able to show my children that there are things worth standing up for, no matter how scary and uncomfortable it may be.  And after all, they are truly the ones who will make all the difference in this world. 

 
Click on the link to see the interview if you're interested! 
             





http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/local-news/new-concerns-about-pot-addiction

Contention and Forbearance

Today I'd like to write about contention. I have been thinking about this a lot lately, and then Sunday in church our lesson was about kindness. It's always amazing to me how when we are struggling, pondering, and praying about something, we can almost always count on some inspiration coming from our church meetings.  Recently my thoughts have been consumed with drawing nearer to the Spirit and avoiding the spirit of contention.  It seems there is so much contention in the world today, and I have noticed it spilling over into my work, my relationships, and most importantly my home and family.  I have tried to make a concerted effort to avoid this contention, and many times I have succeeded, but I often fail as well. 

In the lesson  we had yesterday, President George Albert Smith says, " The Spirit of the Lord is a spirit of kindness; it is a spirit of patience; it is a spirit of charity and love and forbearance and long suffering...Every influence for peace ought to be exercised. Lucifer is exercising every means to destroy the souls of the human family. He is more active than he has ever been and he works in such an insidious way."

I desire so much to have the Spirit of the Lord in my life every day, yet I struggle.  This quote helped me to understand better how I can approach conflicts and avoid this contention that Lucifer  uses to destroy us.  Kindness, patience, charity, love, forbearance, and long suffering.  If I can somehow learn to approach conflicts with these virtues, then I will be much closer to obtaining my goal.

The one I've been struggling with lately is forbearance.  Forbearance means to refrain or abstain from enforcement.  I can see how this principle is helpful when approaching conflicts, and in many situations it is probably the best approach, and the approach I tend to use most often.  However,  I believe that as a Latter-day Saint who is blessed with knowledge and truth, I also have a responsibility to stand up for that truth, so forbearance may  not always be the approach I should take.  I think that in our quest to be politically correct we have allowed evil to go unchallenged.  So my struggle lately has been about how I can stand up for truth, challenge evil, and still maintain the Spirit of the Lord?

According to President Smith, "If we can criticize constructively under the influence of the Spirit of the Lord, we may change beneficially and properly some of the things that are being done."  These wise words remind me of my  responsibility, and also teach me that if I can find a way to stand against evil in a loving and kind way, I may actually be able to change some things for good.  In Doctrine and Covenants 1:31 it says that though the Lord loves the sinner, he "cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance."  I also found a quote from Elder Russell M. Nelson, which says, "Real love for the sinner may compel courageous confrontation--not acquiescence!"  These truths remind me that I do have a responsibility to stand up for truth, but I must remember always to do it in a loving, Christlike way, or I will lose the Spirit and invite contention. 

I'm a work in progress.  I just pray that every day I can drawer nearer to the Spirit of the Lord instead of further from it.  And I pray that I can have the courage I need to stand up for what is right, but humility enough to do it in a way that invites His spirit. 

My Early New Year's Resolution

We recently had a lesson in Relief Society about the importance of journaling.  I realized that it has been a very long time since I have kept a journal regularly, and I feel sad about that.  I have volumes of journals from my teenage years, and they have been a blessing to me and my family already.  But marriage, kids, school, and work, have all gotten in the way and prevented me from this worthwhile activity.  However, we live in a time like no other that has ever occurred, and I feel it is important to document my experiences, so I have decided to take it up again, only this time in the form of my blog.  I started this blog a while ago, but I have not been very good at keeping it updated.  So my early New Year's resolution is to do better at keeping my blog up to date.  Stay tuned for more to come...

Christmas 2011 fun!

Caleb and Santa at our Ward Christmas Party.

Zach and Santa.

Shannan still loves to sit on Santa's lap!

We made gingerbread house for FHE and then ate them immediately!

Before Santa came...

After Santa

Our transmission went out on our van on Christmas, so shortly after we got this!  It sits 7 people; amazing huh? I absolutely love it!!